I am Going to D.C. on 1/20/2017 and You Should Come With!
April 19, 2016
I love the President very much.
And as I'm writing this, my head is steadily lowering into the keyboard, saddened that one day he will no longer be there in the Oval Office.
And, again, this makes me sad. So sad.
As with any relationship that ends on good terms, proper goodbyes are in order. So, I am making it official: I will be present on 1/20/2017 in Washington, D.C. at 11:59am EST to wave goodbye to the man I love.
And you should come, too! Keep in mind that 1/20/2017 is also the day someone new takes office:
But that shouldn't rain on our thanks for your presidential service parade. Think of it this way: the farewell festivities might be a good distraction to whatever goat will be sworn in as our reigning Commander-in-Chief. Shout-out to all the goats. No disrespect to ya'll.
The inauguration could be a happy event because an actual human being will be sworn in to perpetuate oneness and all that good ish. I guess we will all decide which one it will be on 11/8/2016.
Either way, our presidential boo will be demoted to civilian life: Facebook chat; netflix binges; staying home on weekends just because you don't want to see not-a-nobody are in his 2017 future.
He needs a proper send-off, so in the words of the original Michael Jackson:
As will you and you and yes, even YOU.
Think of all the good things the President has done for our lives over 8 years:
He gave you the most invigorating vote of your life. When was the last time you can remember being hella excited to go to the polls besides on 11/4/2008 and 11/6/2012? I'm sure you wore your Sunday's best as well and followed it up with some post-election parties. What other politician can give you that "turn-up" votin' feeling?
He made it possible for all light-skinned people who can't dance to come out of the closet. We no longer need to be ashamed!
I, too, suffer from the condition of not-much coordination and hip-lockedness. Seeing the President dance forces your mouth to say "poor thing." But he's OK with it! That has inspired us all. (Note: I do believe he has gotten better over the years. I think he's secretly taking yoga because that's what's helping me out right now).
He has shown us how to shade people ever so presidentially. Remember when the Republicans clapped when he said that he had no more terms to run? No only did he have the perfect response because it was just the truth, but the smile and wink that followed knocked their claps, jaws and pettiness clouds into narcolepsy:
He Killed Osama Bin Laden. The President is from Chicago. Don't you everrrrrrr forget it. Mmkay?