What Are Clothes? And What Is Today?

These are real questions.

I did laundry the other day, and not a one article was clothing. NOT A ONE. I didn't realize how many sweatpants, family reunion shirts, and tattered but treasured grammar school shirts (yes, I can still fit them) I have.

Like, I have a lot. Maybe I have an obscene amount.

But I'm not going to throw them away because I have nothing else to wear during the virtual work weeks and quarantine club weekends. I faintly remember a thing called "clothing," but the definition has left me.

And Today.

They used to call this Sunday, but without any routine I recognize, I just refer to days in terms of "today," "tomorrow," "yesterday," "the other day," "two days ago," "some time ago," "down the road," or "in the foreseeable future."

Suffice to say, I'm operating in Bizarro world.

I am Bizarro Renese.

I wear a lopsided head scarf, Where's Waldo glasses, a 2010 family reunion shirt, leggings and bear slippers. I am not sure how long I will play this character, but I've acclimated so well that when the Upside Down Turns Right Side Up, I might just show up to work a little disheveled from not knowing what and when the f*ck just happened.