If Rosemarie of 90 Day Fiance Can Kick A Man to The Curb, Then What's Your Excuse?
Watching TLC's 90 Day Fiance? Of course you are because you're one of the cool kids! Then, you know who Ed and Rosemarie are.
Rosemarie aka Rose is a 20-something Filipina single mother who is all ears to the likes of Ed, a 50-something American man. Ed calls himself courting this young woman over Facebook and ships himself over to the Philippines to finally meet her, possibly propose to her and bring her and her son over to America.
Sounds like some iteration of the Cinderella story, doesn't it? Sure, if Cinderella realized the Prince was full of shit before she put on that glass slipper.
Turns out that Ed lied about very pertinent information:
1. Ok, So, He is 4'11, not 5'2.
As someone who has dated a 5'5 man, all inches above and below matter. 5'2 is drastically different from 5'1. 5'1 is astronomically different than 5'0. And 5'0 is at least confirmation that he is taller than most floor lamps. But no - the man is 4'11, rivaling a table lamp.
Although Rosemarie was a little annoyed when she came face-to-face with his brevity of body, she was like:
2. SECOND, the man failed to mention that he had an underdeveloped neck.
Now, Rosemarie did see him on Skype, Facetime or whatever. But there's no way that her brain truly registered what she was seeing. That kind of hardship deserves a conversation, and I doubt they had that. So, again when she saw him for the first time, she was like:
But here's where it gets hairy (expected pun intended) -
3. Ed demands that Rosemarie shave her legs...because he says hairy ones are not feminine.
As someone with hair currently on her legs AND in a relationship with a man taller than a floor lamp, my boo caresses them with no flinching and no comment. And pre-boo, I was hairyed up when I wanted to be.
Did Ed really think he could come over to the Philippines and begin his colonial conquest by ruling over how Rosemarie should perform her womanhood? Oh, right, Yea, he did.
4. FOURTHLY, Ed and Shoulders asked her to take an STD test.
"I want her to take the STD test because I want to know for myself that I can trust her," Ed yakked.
She bounced when he shoveled up that bs. "Trust," Ed, really? You're the one out here deceiving people. But after some time, Rosemarie woosahed her way back to Ed after he exerted so much sweat in apologizing.
Despite the many speed bumps, the two headed off to a romantic island getaway. However, the beauty and tranquility of the vacation spot could not prevent Ed from continuing to Ed.
5. "Did you know that your sister asked me for money? Were you in on it?" he asked.
And here we go again. Rose, offended for the umpteenth time, declared that she knew nothing about it and that yet again, she's hurt by Ed accusing her of being some lying hussy. She still proceeds to try to love the troll, shakes off all the accusatory bull with a swim in the pool, and Ed even ruins that.
While sitting on the edge of the pool, Ed drills the nails in his own coffin when he confesses to his 20-something girlfriend that he doesn't want something that she so badly does.
6. "I have a 29-year-old daughter. I don't want anymore kids," he said.
How is it that a 54-year-old man wants to be with a 23-year-old woman but doesn't want to give her children? If that doesn't scream "sex slave," then I don't know what does.
Ed knew that Rose wanted more children, and not only that, he knew that was her dream. So, Rose drew the ultimate line in the sand with this bomb:
"I know who you are...I'm done," - Rose The G.O.A.T
Rose was embarrassed so many times by this man on worldwide television. She forgave him time-after-time-after-time because she developed feelings for him AND wanted to give her and her son a better life in America (yes, both can be true). But to deny her of her dream (which we discovered wasn't America), she was like, "nah." And this is coming from a woman who sleeps on a thin cot on a floor with an unreliable roof.
Ed got the wrong one.
For you men and women out there dealing with an Ed, look to Rose for some inspiration. The woman realized her worth and activated it. You do the same. No American green card was worth her having to look at, have sex with and listen to the star of Mucinex for the rest of her life.