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Being On Time for a Black Event is Rude

...as hell.


What's funny is that I knew this pre-COVID. I would never show up for a black birthday party, black fundraiser, black baby shower, black live reading, or black movie "on time."


Because I know my people. And this sacred tradition has been passed down to me to carry on.


But during COVID, it's like I appear right when the clock strikes "well, this is the time they said it would start."



Let me clarify - I'm still not leaving my house. I'm talking about the virtual get-togethers. More specifically, VERZUZ.


Ok, So...


VERZUZ is my weekend turn up. I look forward to each one. And I show up "on time." Every time.


I think it's because I thought that the new "on time" was actually on time because, like, no one has anything to do because of the Rona. So, why wouldn't the show actually start at the time they wrote on the flyer?


But oh no!


We coloreds are gonna colored even during a pandemic. And that's OK! It's just that I keep playing myself in thinking..."Maybe this time it will be different."


Last night, VERZUZ featured Dancehall icons Bounty Killer and Beenie Man. I am not Jamaican. I am not Carribbean by any means, but Jamaicans and Caribbean folks of African descent, in general, share this racial construct called "Black." So, no matter whether you speak patois or the Queen's English, all of us operate on the same "not on time" time.


And neither Beenie Man nor Bounty Killer appeared "on time." Was I surprised? No. But because I'm so desperate for live entertainment, I've forgotten my normative black event behavior - 30 minutes to an hour after "showtime" is when you should file in.


Remember when if you showed up to an event on time, it basically meant you wanted to help set up?


...and not even finish set up. START.


I, along with the other "on time" early birds, got to hear 40 minutes of impressive reggae and dancehall music, but again I'm the dunst for thinking I would see Bounty and Beens on screen right at EIGHT O'CLOCK EASTERN.



The COVID really has me trippin'.


So, from now on, I will not show up to any black virtual events "on time." I've had enough. Not only is it rude to the VERZUZ team to expect the show to start on time, but hell, it's rude to me!


So, tomorrow, 112 and Jagged Edge, I'll see y'all around the same, normal black ass time.






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