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Chaperone Jen


Happy Friday the 13th!

Most people consider this to be an unlucky day, but me? Pssshtttt!!! It's the best day to catch up on horror movies and blog posts.

So, here I am writing, and Impeachment coverage is on the screen.

OK, So...Yesterday, I was blessed to be a chaperone for my nephew's class field trip to the aquarium.

And I deliberately use the word "blessed" because that was my first real outing in over a month (to be explained at a later time).

I legit tossed and turned all night because I was so excited and a little nervous about what chaperoning would entail.

I even tried to think back to the chaperones I had when I was a little human - and I couldn't drum up any real memories. But an overwhelming feeling about them surfaced -

They're Informants. Chaperones were always considered informants to me. The kind of adults that supervise children just to report any bad behavior.

And I didn't want to be that. So, here it went...

,

First of all,

I let one kid lie 'cus it wasn't my business.

Kamyrie: Kai, Santa is real.

Kai: No, he's not!

Kamyrie: Yes, he is. He just doesn't deliver anymore.

Kai: Santa is not real!

Kamyrie: Kai Auntie, isn't Santa Real?

Me: That's between you kids, not us adults.

Kamyrie/Kai/another child: babble, babble...yes, he is because...no, he isn't because...auughhdgh

Me:

Not all business is grown folks' business.

Second of some,

I let the kids jump off rocks.

After the kids watched Beluga whales, a blind seal, dolphins, and an owl star in a rather barbaric show, I figured they deserved to have some wholesome, PC fun.

Lo, and behold, the aquatic arena was surrounded by rocks - real ones that children can climb on and jump off. I'm sure they weren't designed with children's antics in mind, but when you ask kids to think outside the box, what do you think they're going to want to do when four feet of rocks are standing in front of you?

So, they looked at the rocks, then looked at me. They looked at the rocks and then me again.

Me:

Third of all -

Were there really other kids at the aquarium? 'Cus...

All I saw were the ones I was supervising.

Nudging kids to stick with the 28-deep line -

AND

Getting hype when real bubbles, fake snow and chair vibrations made my very first 4D theatre experience about Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer worth the 35-year wait

AND

Me: Savannah, get off the seal.

Savannah: But it's made of rock.

Me:

Fourth of some and last -

I almost became an informant.

Almost - Because one kid really tried me when she brazenly trespassed into the gift shop and started axxxxxxing for things.

Me: Kid, I'm going to have to tell Ms. Foster that you're not being a good listener.

Her: (Leaves gift shop and sulks)

Me:

There might actually be something to this informant thing. Keep on shining like this, chaperones! Keep on!


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