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  • Writer's pictureRenese

My Ex Sent Me An Active Shooter Training Video...After Going Dark for 5 Months

Updated: Jan 27, 2020

Ok, So...I know what you're thinking: "What the fuccccc is she talking about?" Right?

You know those training videos you watch at work that tell you what to do in case of a fire...

in case of an earthquake...

in case of phishing attacks...

in case of passive aggressiveness...

...actually, scratch the last one. That's on my to-do list to create. That can kill a mutha-f*cka if not armed.

But also in case of incidents that happened at Columbine, Sandy Hook, Pulse Nightclub, and jfklmnop other places in America? Yea, workplaces have rolled out "What To Do In Case of An Active Shooter Incident."

And I watched it for the first time. But not at work. And not from my work to watch remotely. But from my ex. Who does not work with me. And who has not talked to me for five months.

What was I supposed to think?

So, instead of thinking, I asked, "Why did you send me this?"

Him: "Wow!!! Smh. My apologies. Never again." (In that order)

Niagra, what?

From my experiences with "Wow," accompanied by three exclamation points, that means someone said something definitionally crazy to you. Meaning, I said something crazy to him?

How, Sway?

Of all the ways to break the ice after going dark post-breakup, he decides to send me an active shooter training video?

What happened to a greeting? Or a wave or even an annoying but appropriate "Hey, Big Head?"

Are those dead and gone? Now, videos with tips on how to hide, lock and fight are circulating among exes?

Well, take me out of that circulation, and revoke that memo from my ex because that ain't it, bruh.

I now know what to do in case of such a horrific incident, and I also know what to do when a nutty n*gga sends me something like that. Let the never-ending block party commence...

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