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  • Writer's pictureRenese

Hello, I'm Black, and I'm at The Grand Canyon in the Winter


Ok, So...It's been awhile, I know. To whomever wrote that encouraging message (although I used to know you), thank you. Here's what you asked for and what I love doing:

Ever taken a road trip with a friend? I'm currently on one with my friend Ki to the Grand Canyon. In the winter. While it's raining and snowing.

And if you've ever been on a road trip with people you thought you could stand for more than 5 hours, then you know it can either be Heaven or Hell.

Lucky for me (so far), it has been the former. But we just got to the hotel, so stay tuned for an update.

This may be more of a commentary on road trippin' to the Grand Canyon, in the winter, while it's raining or snowing, so if you ever road trip in the winter while it's raining and snowing in the Grand

Canyon, then know this...

You will enjoy the fuck out of it! Here's why:

You Get to See Who Takes a Trip to the Grand Canyon in the Winter.

Can you guess who?

Come on, guess.

Come on.

Yep...

(Wipeepo).

There are a lot of white people here. What I mean by that is there are a lot of white people here. I see no other Black people here. No Puerto Ricans. No Mexicans. No Mixed people. No Indigenous. If someone has color or even crayons on them, they ain't here.

The best thing about being around a lot of white people is that they're the freest people in this country. So free in fact that Ki and I witnessed a White centenarian quietly and adamantly tell his White wife to shoo and let him enjoy a beer by his lonesome at the bar.

Well he didn't say that exactly, but his tone said that. This Grand Canyon lesson teaches us that when my old ass husband wants to be left alone after probably driving numerous hours with me and my other cackling female relatives, then leave him be.

Real Dead Animals (except bears) Are A Thing

First of all, how do you not have bears? Let me back up. These are stuffed animals, like what taxidermists make and stuff. They're on every part of the lobby walls.

A lion is even posted up on a makeshift wooden "couch." He's chillin; except he's not 'cus he's dead. On the wall. In my face.

What's next? This?

According to a Pilot I met, Muslims are taking over the country!! I guess taxidermy is one of their ways of infiltration.

There's also a gigantic moose head right above reception. (Please note: I do not get to use the word "gigantic" often, so I'm ecstatic about being able to. Yee!)

The moose seems to have his eye on me. Wonder what he was thinking before the African hunter off'd him. Perhaps: "This is about to be some delicious – oh nah – this is some bullsh-." Hence, the side eye he's giving me right now.

I am only a descendant of Southerners, so my next statement may be completely untrue, but er, what's with Southerners' fascination with hunting? Wait...is Arizona considered the South? (I promised myself to not travel to a Southern state...oh, Trump hasn't been inaugurated yet. This is still Obama country. Whew).

(Update: In walked a person of color...wait 2!)

I'm done with this section. STAT.

P.S. Why don't they have bears?

White Men Always Be Thinkin' They Rule Shit

Especially fireplaces. I'm in my feelings at the moment because this lonely White man is hogging the Lobby fireplace. Like, why? I'm in the so-called Business Center creepily angry at the warmth and coziness he's experienced. Aren't you sick and tired of that anyway?? That's your life. Let somebody else live. Whether in day-to-day life or at the Grand Canyon, them nigs think they Beyonce.

(Update #2: Oh, shit, another person of color. It is 8:30p. I forgot to account for CP time.)

Black Music Sounds So Much Better in a Red State

Plainly put, bass, harmonies, rhythm and ratchetness are like kryptonite here, and I'm all-the-way here for it.

I actually see the Grand Canyon tomorrow! Excited to learn more lessons during this time.

P.S. It is MLK Weekend, so a Milly Rock on the Grand Canyon is going to happen in honor of the good Doctor.


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