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dear Apple, i can't stand this emoji...


Now, when you see this here ^^^, what comes to mind? It ain't excitement, I'll tell you that! But that's what the emoji puppetmaster wants you to believe.

Am I the only one who, in the last year, realized that this wasn't an eek face? I can't imagine how inappropriate I must have sounded when I put that emoji after a friend's dilemma.

I know I'm not the only one who just discovered this because my girlfriend said the same thing THIS YEAR!

How can APPLE get this so wrong? I mean, do they not know what a human face looks like when they're excited? OR are my girlfriend and I out of the loop when it comes to what an excited face is supposed to look like? Have we been looking excited in the wrong way? APPLE, why do you even have me questioning my face?

MY GRIPE: THE MOUTH. When normal people are excited, they're too excited to keep their damn teeth together!

Pay attention to what your mouth naturally does when you receive exciting news like this:

You.... are..... the..... winner.... of...... $1,000,000!

What does your mouth do? It opens...and depending on how excited you are, it opens

W-I-D-E-L-Y. Millions of people's natural bodily reactions to exciting news can't be wrong, APPLE.

This is the physical reaction to all things exciting. Maybe not the torso shimmy or the hand waving, but the mouth? That mouth always opens.

Now, let's examine the EEK face.

What do you notice? ^^^Major teeth clenching.

Happens when...

...you see someone picking their nose in the vehicle next to you...

...you see a dog pooping on your yard and you want to confront the person for not picking it up but you kinda sorta like him...

...you realize one of your friends is rude to waitstaff...

Now, between Lucille Ball and Jonah Hill, which one best describes the emoji at the very top? Any competition involving Lucille Ball will render her the victor every time!

And what's with the yellow line going across the emoji's teeth? What is that supposed to be? I don't think anything appears on my teeth when I "clench them in excitement" (by the way, the point of this blog is to help you realize that this doesn't exist).

If you clench your teeth when you're excited, then you're this guy:

And if you know this guy, then you've got some problems. Abed has very strange facial reactions to everything. He is one in a million. And not in the sexiest of ways. He is a sweet guy, but he's definitely from another planet. Look at this and then scroll up to the emoji. Same. Same. Same. Actually...Abed's emotion is rather creepy! This emoji may be more well-suited for creeps! Are creeps using that emoji to digitally express all of their creepy feelings??? This makes it more imperative that you be clear with your intentions APPLE!!!

^^^This is a great example of APPLE's potential at getting an expression right!

APPLE is for the masses. And the masses, when excited, open their mouths and actually look happy. When I found out that the emoji was not an eek face, i began using it as an excited face, and ya know what? I have never felt comfortable with it. I always think..eh...i don't know about this...EVERY TIME! I would like to be confident in my emoji choice, and that one ain't doin' it for me.

So, I am asking APPLE to please modify this emoji or define it as an creep face. And while you're at it, create a perfect eek face as well. Use people as your muse. DUH.

Stop destroying relationships because of this ambiguously gay emoji! (and i have to explain that I am using the word gay to mean merry, thank you very much). Geez.

#eekface #excitedface #excitedemoji #eekemogi #emoji

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