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MUST YOU PARK THAT CLOSE TO THE MALL?


I love Trader Joe's, Raphs, Wells Fargo and The Mall, like any real blue-blooded American, but I don't love the people who feel like they MUST park so close to the entrances of these establishments.

If handicapped spaces were outlawed, people would be auctioning off super close parking spaces.

Do these people think they won't be able to find the entrance unless their noses are at the building? Do they have some sort of near-sighted impairment when finding the sliding doors? Anything farther than 100 feet, and you can't see how you go in?

Is it really that serious?

Here are 3 things I find to be true when you do that...

1.

Parking Lot Traffic

Oh, yeah, this is real, and most of it is because of gnats that crowd the first 1-7 front spaces. This is LA. No one wants extra and unnecessary traffic. Park in a space from 8 to infinity. Give me a break man!

2.

You can never quickly back out of your super close space

You temporarily live in your car for a good 10 minutes. People are driving past constantly. Other OCD'ers are backing out, so you and some other shmuck start playing the reverse game. Ugh. Should I go? Ah. She's going but stopped. Let me trying reversing again. And repeat. And then that random shopper passes by when you thought you were clear to go. Dammit! AND when you're finally able to get out of the parking space, you're exhausted! Physically, visually, and emotionally.

3.

You could start a parking space war

Ever been in the middle of two competing cars trying to get your spot? Both cars have appropriately signaled, but you never know which one was there first and neither is backing down? You want to reverse in an equal opportunity way so as not to show favoritism over another? Yeah, you don't want to be in the middle of that.

^^^ Cuz that ish will get real ^^^

Now here are reasons why you should park a little father away, people...

1.

You Need The Exercise

Without being crass, let me take a guess that if you're reading this, you're American. And if you're American, more than likely, you need the exercise (You know you do). And this includes me! We all know that small people are not necessarily in shape, and bigger people are not necessarily out of shape. Sometimes I think the walk scares people into wanting a close parking space, and we shouldn't be scared of a stroll to the mall. You're not walking to the next town for goodness sake!

2.

Waaaayyy Less Stress

You'll be singing Big Sean's song when you easy breezy leavy up out of that parking lot because you know why? You can slip out of your spot and out the exit like butter, baby!

3.

You Need The Exercise

(Read the paragraph under #1)

In Conclusion: I just realized that I could change my 'tude on this when I get married. The legally-single-no-child-having me has the benefit of not parking close. But I can understand why moms with critters for children or husbands who don't know how to hold grocery bags to the car might want to park close to the store. I get it! It took me a whole blog to get it, but I got it!

...but for those of you who don't fit into ^^^ that there box, you triflin'.

#parking #park #closeparking

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